Date: June 15, 2015
posted by Lee / Comments: No Comments / Tags: bad attitude, good attitude, grateful, positive changes
There was a time a long time ago when I believe many people would have described my attitude as poor. I wasn’t a big fan of authority and felt that I was entitled to be treated a certain way, irrespective of how I treated others. I didn’t have the best time through my younger years and with my mother dying when I was a teenager, I seemed to have a permanent chip on my shoulder.
I was always getting in trouble for this attitude, but that only fed the monster. I felt like I was misunderstood, because on the inside I was scared and soft and sweet, but too afraid to be those things and to live that way outright, I defaulted to the opposite in an attempt to protect myself.
I was twenty-two when my attitude changed. That was when I moved to New York City and realized nearly instantly that I was not nearly as important to anyone as I felt I should have been. I was ripped off, harassed and forced to work terrible jobs just to barely feed myself. I couldn’t protect myself from New York City, so I stopped trying. That’s when a wonderful thing happened- my attitude changed.
It’s so hard going through life angry and irritated. It’s exhausting and isolating and it’s selfish. What the hell is there to be so angry about anyway?
It breaks my heart to come up against someone so like I was, and it happens more often than I’d like; someone whose world begins and ends with themselves and who treats others as lesser beings. Sadly it’s usually women I see treating other women this way and I’m sensitive to it because I was it.
We’re all just people with hopes, dreams, ambitions and fears and we’re all doing the best we can to get through this life, so why not be kind to each other and be kind to yourself? It doesn’t have to be so difficult all the time and if you stop competing with other people, or trying to always be right, things become so much easier.
Here are my five ways to a better attitude:
- Listen- I know this sounds simple, but too often we are only waiting for our turn to speak. Or if someone is giving us feedback we shut it down with a ‘no, I know but…’ Let them finish and try to accept and digest the information before reacting. It makes you a much better conversationalist, friend and human being.
- Learn the art of apology, it feels better than fighting to be right all the time.
- Focus on the positive- Complaining is a way of bonding with others, but next time you’re tempted try and find something positive to say instead. All that negativity affects your mood and your relationships, yes it’s raining, but think of all the good that will do for the flowers in your garden.
- Give yourself a break- Stop rushing through your life trying to tick boxes and get to the finish line. Set yourself small attainable goals to avoid the constant feeling of shame and disappointment. You want to feel good about yourself so you can spread the love around a bit.
- Take your time- Relax and take it a bit slowly, if you’re always rushing you can forget to enjoy yourself and may end up losing patience with others. There’s no rush, you’ll always get there.
Your attitude is intrinsic to everything you do in life, even in how you view the world. You have the power to make your world a less intimidating, more welcoming place and it can all start with a little self-awareness and understanding.
I’m so glad that New York happened to me and that I was open to that experience and didn’t fight it. The sooner you adjust your attitude, even slightly, the happier you’ll be in your own skin and in your own life.