Date: August 6, 2015
posted by Marijana Cabrita / Comments: No Comments / Tags: belief, blaming, change, conscious, desires, existence, happiness, joy, love, mind, perceive, positive change, potential, Shawn Achor, truth
Happiness. What’s getting in the way of it? What can we do to invite more of it? I say, a whole lot of both.
“Happiness is the joy one feels striving for one’s potential.”
~ Shawn Achor, author of The Happiness Advantage
The pull of the mind toward negative perceptions is a common challenge that many of us struggle with. The mind’s job is to perceive the world around us. If the mind is conditioned to a life of struggle or despair, the likelihood that it will interpret the world from a lens of suffering, of victimhood, and no hope is high. Then again, we’ve all come across those seemingly rare individuals that will have overcome the most devastating circumstances and their resilient spirit is best explained, a mystery.
The thing is, this mysterious quality is not rare. It can be discovered—or remembered, shall I say in the depth of one’s natural essence. This resilience that many speak of is one of the essential qualities that gives us the ability to create positive change in our lives. Shawn Achor shares that, “happiness is not the belief that everything is great, happiness is the belief that change is possible.”
Change. Is. Possible. One must create space for change to happen and in that process face everything that’s getting in the way. Face the truth of your life. Face the truth of your desires. Have you been honouring your desires or have you convinced yourself that you are not worthy?
You can create space for happiness by first looking at what you believe about yourself, which is preventing you from realizing your full potential. When we recognize the veil that shields us from having a better life, the possibility of change becomes palatable again. The possibility of joy draws nearer. Now you can make room for it in your mind and heart.
Then you can begin to ask yourself, what do I need to give up that’s getting in the way of my true desires? Blaming others is a game we play that deliberately prevents us from making conscious choices towards happiness. Give it up. Once you give up blaming as your go to problem-solving solution you have no choice but to take ownership for how you feel.
Blaming is an act of abandonment of your truth.
I get it. Deeply. If you’ve experienced hurt, heartbreak, betrayal, aggression from others, the sting of emotional neglect or the lasting anguish of abandonment—there are a million and one reasons you can come up with why that person is a jerk.
One needs to acknowledge the wrong doing in order to see that underneath anger and resentment lives sorrow and sadness. A loss has been experienced and in most cases when we are in blaming mode our mind is deflecting ownership and acknowledgement of these underlying feelings. This deflection in itself is an act of abandonment of our truth.
“The biggest act of betrayal is to abandon your own truth.”
~ Dr. Shefali Tsabary author of The Conscious Parent
Your thoughts and feelings come and go. They are not the truth of who you are. Only the truth of the story of your life up until now but you can choose to interpret or change the story however you desire.
The Truth of who you are is Love.
Your feelings are still a part of your experience and an essential process guiding you to the truth of your existence. When we acknowledge blaming or anger as being just another thought or feeling to wake us up to this truth our convictions to previous held beliefs begin to fade. Sticking to one firmly held belief becomes less important, opening the mind up to multiple ways of perceiving one’s reality.
Notice how right now you can make a choice to consciously face the truth of your life and the truth of your desires. Embrace it all. Know that only you can manifest it or hide from it. Your the gatekeeper to your soul’s longing for joy. You get to decide right now how you want to think, feel and ultimately live. Know that you always can find your happy.
~ Marijana Cabrita is a psychotherapist, mentor, workshop facilitator and lover of this sacred life. Marijana’s passion is in bridging the science of psychology with the power of spirituality. She is committed to helping women awaken to their true sacred essence and embody love. www.marijanacabrita.com