I’m sorry, mom

Date: May 14, 2015

posted by Lana Bos / Comments: No Comments / Tags: , , , , ,


I didn’t want to be what I saw in you;

Weak, sad, helpless.
Poor, addicted, a mess.

But I cried, mother, I really cried inside.

I thought I was strong, but my weakness was hiding in food.
I thought I was happy, but alcohol was controlling my mood.
I thought I was smart, but I didn’t feel understood.

I thought I was confident, but couldn’t leave home without facial foundation.
I thought I was free, but felt weak without validation.
I thought I was successful, but who was I lying to?
I was a slave to my wounds until I forgave you.

I stopped being a victim
when I started loving you.
When I saw your beauty
I saw mine too.
I am what I see in you.

And it doesn’t scare me anymore..

I rejected you for being weak,
but those we reject we need to love the most
or they become our emotional ghost.
I’ll love you from my side of the coast.

Because of you I became me.
And there is no one else I would rather be.

I love you, mom.

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