Date: July 9, 2015
posted by Marijana Cabrita / Comments: No Comments / Tags: Meditation, presence, Purpose, social media, truth, validation, virtual relationships
2 weeks ago I made a scary yet liberating decision to take a step away from pretty much all technology as a result of a life changing experience. It was such an impromptu decision that I hadn’t even had any material scheduled to post ‘on my behalf’ while I took the time away so that I could at least maintain some sort of presence and keep my followers engaged. Oh ya, you can do that! You can schedule posts. And it is probably what many people do in their business. At least those who know how important it is to maintain just enough distance from technology to remain grounded.
Would’a. Could’a. Should’a. But didn’t. And so, whatever the repercussions I’m better for it. And my business will be better for it. Here’s why…
The decision to step away felt so right that, the fear of losing myself if I kept going in the direction that I was (disconnected, future-focused, other-focused) was far worse then ‘losing my tribe’ ever could be. I was beginning to lose myself. Which meant I could hardly connect to my tribe.
As much as I thought I had it all together — building a business, raising a family, personal well-being, it had been a couple months since I felt I was truly present in my life. My business was beginning to run me instead of the other way around! I was less connected to the NOW and more anticipating the future.
In the last couple months I had ventured into the land of online marketing and spending countless hours envisioning my brand and strategizing how to best market myself and my offerings. I was caught in a dichotomy of strategy vs soul. To put the two together is possible. It’s the best way to stay on purpose in your business, actually. But the problem was, I was putting more energy into strategy then soul. I was more in my head then in my heart and soul. And sadly I misjudged the dizzy spinning sensations in my head for passion, enthusiasm and unfurling creativity. Not all of the time…but enough of the time. Ironically, my passion for building my business actually did spur major moments of creativity and self expression and empowerment to create more space for myself in my life in general.
And then it happened. The moment I unplugged from social media 2 weeks ago it was as clear as day how caught up I was in the ‘being seen’ game. This became so much more pressing then observing/sensing/creating/connecting to the life around me and within me.
I’m sure a large part of the challenge had to do with being an introvert and enjoying the ‘perceived’ control I had over who I wanted to build connections with, how much time I spent engaging with anyone and how much I shared. Sounds like an introverts dream.
But somewhere along the line (like when I dove into a social media program and became a member of it’s Facebook group of over 3000 and then subsequently decided to install the Facebook, Instagram and Twitter APP’s on my phone!) I became dazed and confused as to how to keep up online and with the demands of real life and still maintain my sanity.
I know I am probably not alone amongst the solopreneurs who are trying to build their brands online. Yet, my business is in the realm of Spiritual wellness and I was quickly becoming disconnected from mine. So, how could I offer to help anyone stay connected to theirs when I was becoming so disconnected from mine.
Now as I look back on how overpowering social media became for me - granted, largely because I was allowing my vision for my business to overpower my life. I realize that the struggle resided in the internal conflict between the need to be of service versus the need for accolades. The magnetic pull of online validation is not a joke. It is real. Everyone plays in the realm of hungry ghosts online. After all, social media was built as a popularity contest.
Our ego will jump all over that band-wagon if inclined, reminding us of good old high school. Compound that with our ego’s need to seek validation, we are then destined to always feel like we are falling short.
However, I do believe there is a way to use social media consciously just as we can choose to make conscious choices in everyday life that are aligned with what truly matters and with our worth. I will get to how I have revolutionized my approach to social media in just a bit.
But social media isn’t the problem. In many ways it is amazing and I am deeply grateful for the connections I am building with like-minded, conscious-driven soul seekers who like me, share a piece of their hearts and minds to uplift others and naturally are left to contend with the reality of their unfiltered life.
I needed to find a way to feel connected without disconnecting from myself. My soul. My spiritual path. My worth as a woman, as a mother, as a partner.
Social media coupled with building a business was just the vehicle, which became a speeding roadster. It took me on a ride away from my soul’s pulse. From what truly mattered to me. Like the quiet that connects me to my heart and longs to connect and create, to love deeply and to live fully. To live free from pleasing and connecting to this sacred precious earth. What truly matters to me is always revealed to me when I listen closely to my soul-truth.
Why I disconnected from myself was the problem. It was not the internet’s fault. Fortunately, I realigned with my path to live in Truth. And you can’t find the Truth on the web. You are the Truth. Ya, this insight is totally associated with my life changing experience pre-social media frenzy! I knew it before But I deeply know it in my soul now. And I also know how easily any one of us can lose sight of the Truth and that a radical commitment to living in Truth is necessary in order to heed the call of your soul.
Ya, I have a purpose and a mission to serve. Ya, I feel a yearning to create. Ya, I am a highly driven woman. These are all phenomenal things! But I was running. I was hiding despite my yearning to create and be seen. My social media frenzy in the Spring sent me spinning in confusion. I was subconsciously torn. Was I hiding or was I blossoming? Yet, all this allowed me to arrive here, now to this very moment of awakening to what really matters.
The truth is quite simple. It was both. I can only blossom so much as I am invested in living. And now I want to live more. I am committed to engage with the life I have and the life I want to live. I am committed to my soul’s purpose to live in Truth and in peace. My human psychology will continue to present obstacles that I will need to contend with. My ego’s whispers to look outside of my self for love will be my reminder to meditate more.
So here is my new approach to social media. It will be much much more limited. At this point I need to only use social media to serve others. When I write a post I will always ask myself, how is this serving others? I will take about ½ a day a week to create at least 75% of my social media posts and schedule them in so that Facebook runs them for me and I don’t have to log on daily if I don’t want to. With the nature of visibility changing on Facebook I am aware that I will need to post more then once a day so I will also log on when it moves me (at this point) to share. I will not log onto any social media sites after 8:00pm or before 8:00am. I will not re-install Facebook or Twitter on my phone. If I am looking for guidance or inspiration for myself I will only follow the news feeds of those that I consider my mentors. Connecting to friends and family will be devoted to real time, real life. Mornings will be devoted completely to my precious spiritual rituals, which will include meditation, gratitude entries and yoga.
My life has been richer these past 2 weeks, more aligned with the Truth of who I am and I feel more alive then I ever have because I have re-aligned with my Truth to live fully and do what deeply matters to me. I am back on track with my purpose which keeps unfolding every moment I pay attention to my soul truth and practicing the art of soul love.
~ Marijana Cabrita is a psychotherapist, mentor, workshop facilitator and lover of this sacred life. Marijana’s passion is in bridging the science of psychology with the power of spirituality. She is committed to helping women awaken to their true sacred essence and embody love. www.marijanacabrita.com